Loneliness in a Time of Social Distancing

A 2018 study on loneliness and social isolation found that 22% of Americans often or always feel lonely.1 With the addition of a worldwide pandemic and orders to practice social distancing, I would imagine that percentage has increased significantly. So, if you’re sitting at home, belting out the chorus of “All By Myself,” remember that you’re not alone in feeling lonely right now. That being said, here are some tactics to combat the sting of loneliness while we’re keeping our distance from each other.

Acknowledge your loneliness, don’t judge it

Feeling lonely, especially over these past several weeks, is totally normal and OK. It’s a sign that you’re human and a reminder that you, like the rest of us, need and thrive on social connection.

Utilize Technology 

Thank goodness we live in the digital era! Right now is a time to be grateful we live in an age in which we can connect with people from afar. Use your digital resources, and use them in a way that actually makes you feel connected. Scrolling mindlessly through social media posts can give you a false sense of connectivity to others, or can actually make you feel even more lonely and isolated. Instead, set up a virtual “hangout” with friends over video (FaceTime, Skype, Zoom, Google Hangouts, etc). Have coffee together, host a happy hour, play a card game, start a book club, join an online support group or community meet-up page focused on a common interest, even go on a date! It may feel strange or awkward at first, but rest assured, others are craving that social connection just as much as you are.

Make an old-fashioned phone call 

An obvious but often overlooked option. Our modern society has gotten so used to communicating with each other via typed messages (texts, snaps, etc.) that we forget we can actually use our phones for what they were originally designed for! Scroll through your contacts to see who you haven’t been in touch with in a while and give them a call.

Practice gratitude

Feeling lonely can spiral into negative thought patterns that focus on all that’s bad or missing from your life. Prevent that spiral by giving yourself a moment to take stock of what you do have. Are you and your loved ones healthy? Do you have food to eat and a roof over your head? A loyal pet to keep you company (who is probably loving that you are home so much)? Shifting your focus to gain some perspective can be a powerful tool.

Foster a dog or cat (or bunny or snake…yes, that’s a thing)

If you’re an animal lover, it might be a great time to give back by fostering a homeless pet. They get a loving home to reside in until they’re adopted, and you get an adorable companion while you’re stuck in your house. It’s a win-win situation!

Look to the future

It may not feel like it right now, but this isolation really is temporary. Use this downtime to make plans for things you’d like to do or people you want to see once society starts to regain some sense of normalcy. This can help you remain optimistic and feel less stuck.

Get outside

There’s something about connecting with nature that makes us feel less alone in the world. Take a walk in your neighborhood or a local park (following social distancing guidelines, of course), listen to the birds sing, breathe in the fresh air, plant a garden in your yard. All these things remind us that amidst all the chaos, life goes on.

Use this time as an opportunity to:

• Re-evaluate your social life and support network. Perhaps you’re realizing you need to expand your friend network or to reconnect with people you’ve lost touch with. Or maybe this forced pause on social activity feels kinda nice—a signal that you’ve been overpacking your social calendar, stretching yourself too thin, and perhaps need to take more time for yourself.

• Reconnect and strengthen important relationships. It may seem counterintuitive to say that social distancing is a great time to build relationships with people, but this could be the catalyst you need to make that change. Send an email to an old friend, set up a virtual family game night with relatives you rarely see, reminisce with high school buddies on a Zoom call, or use my personal go-to when I’m not feeling so great: call Mom.

• Focus on you. You might find the relationship you’ve been neglecting the most is the one you have with yourself! Use this time to take care of the mind and body you live in every day; your relationships with others will be better for it.

1. DiJulio, B., Hamel, L., Muñana, C., & Brodie, M. (2018, August 30). Loneliness and social isolation in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Japan: an international survey. The Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF.org). https://www.kff.org/report-section/loneliness-and-social-isolation-in-the-united-states-the-united-kingdom-and-japan-an-international-survey-introduction/