The Power of Words

By Staci Tokarz

Do you often notice you say to yourself, “I can’t,” “That won’t work for me,” or “No”? To many of us, having such thoughts sounds fairly standard and harmless, right? The fact is, these negative thoughts are anything but harmless. These types of words have been shown to release dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters throughout the brain, which immediately blocks your ability to think clearly. It has also been shown that negative thinking is self-perpetuating, which means the more you allow it, the harder it is to stop (Newberg & Waldman, 2012). 

On the flip side, there is also power in positive words, such as “Yes” and “I can.” However, most of the time, it’s not as easy to focus on the positive words. And the reason for this is that our brains don’t respond as strongly to positive words or thoughts, because they don’t threaten our survival. In order to allow them to sink in, we must actively focus to reframe positive thoughts in the moment. How do we do this?

In order to unleash the power of positive thoughts, try thinking of multiple words. Choose the words carefully, strategically, and speak them aloud slowly. Give yourself time, and open yourself up to take them in and feel them. It may be difficult at first, but as with everything, practice makes perfect. It may feel forced at first, but keep trying; eventually, it will come more naturally. Making this mental shift to focus on positive words and thoughts rather than negative ones can actually help change both your thoughts and your language. 

Cultivating gratitude can also help immensely with this process of reframing thoughts in the moment. Write a “thank you” note to others or yourself, thank someone mentally, or start a gratitude journal. Try the gratitude practice below for two weeks and see what happens. 

Three Good Things

Step 1: Reflect

Before bed, think of any good things that happened that day. This could be something big or something as small as, “I liked the shoes I was wearing” or “I enjoyed what I made for dinner.”

Step 2: Write

Write down the three good things you thought of.

Step 3: Explain

Think about why each good thing happened. What was good about it? How did it add to your day? What did you do to make it happen?

Developed by prominent psychologist Martin Seligman more than 15 years ago, this exercise is still widely used today, because it’s simple and it works. Identifying three good things shifts the tendency of your natural mental pathways away from a negative review of the day or an anxious preview of tomorrow. Identifying “why” starts a cognitive search toward positive and empowering thoughts. Studies have shown that after a week, you’ll automatically want to keep doing this and it will come more naturally.

Schedule Counseling in Wilmington, NC

If you need help setting goals, saying goodbye to old patterns, and welcoming in peace and fulfillment, Clarity Counseling in Wilmington can help. Our therapists are here to help you nurture your mind, body, and soul. Simply put, no matter what you’re going through, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Contact us today to schedule a session!

About the Author

Staci Tokarz is a therapist in Wilmington, North Carolina who provides the perfect approach to counseling for those who typically have a hard time opening up. Her work is anchored in evidence-based techniques, and her focus is on helping trauma survivors and individuals dealing with grief or loss take their lives back.

References

Harvard Medical School. (2021, August 14). Giving thanks can make you happier. Harvard Health Publishing. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier 

Newberg, A., & Waldman, M. (2012, August 1). Why this word is so dangerous to say or hear: This word can damage both the speaker’s and listener’s brain. PsychologyToday. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/words-can-change-your-brain/201208/why-word-is-so-dangerous-say-or-hear 

Southern Illinois University. (n.d.). Three good things. SIU School of Medicine. https://www.siumed.edu/gme/three-good-things