Self-Care during Holidays
by Katie O’Hara
Have you ever experienced increased stress or worry around the holiday season? This could be any holiday, or a vacation that includes spending time with family. Do you dread family get-togethers, certain they will devolve into a fight over politics or differing views? Does the cost of traveling or hosting a house full of guests worry you? Or maybe you experience stress trying to make sure everything is “perfect” or knowing you’ll probably have to rush out to the grocery store at the last minute.
There is so much to love and enjoy around these occasions, but it’s important to take care of yourself if you notice increased stress. Here are a few ways to do that:
- Make quality time for yourself
It’s important to spend time doing things you love and enjoy, which looks different for everyone. Some people like to curl up on the couch with a good book while others find taking a walk or relaxing in a hot bubble bath eases their stress. Whatever your “thing” is, make sure to do it throughout the holiday season. - Stick to a budget
Before you start making lists or heading out to the grocery store, plan a budget. Knowing how much you have to spend beforehand will make it easier to stay within those limits. You might need to buy fewer gifts, or less expensive gifts. Or you could choose a different route, like making homemade gifts, baking cookies, or starting a family gift exchange. - Have manageable expectations
A lot of people have an idea of what the “perfect” get-together or party looks like. It’s important to remember that mishaps and mistakes are going to happen; that’s just a part of the process. Keep things in perspective and remember what’s important, both when planning the event and when you’re in the middle of it. - Fighting Fair
Holidays often bring families together from different places and with different backgrounds. And all these people bring their own views with them. Conversations about current events may arise, and everyone might not agree on what the “right” answer is. It’s important to “fight fair” when this happens. Some rules to follow include:
- Stick to the facts and leave opinions out of the conversation.
- Use “I statements” to express your feelings and the reasons why you feel a certain way.
- Hear everyone out and try not to interrupt while someone else is talking or
sharing their view. - Remember, you don’t have to agree with someone to have a conversation with
them. - Most importantly, don’t directly attack anyone. Fighting fair means being respectful.
The biggest takeaway is to make sure you are taking care of yourself around the holiday season. If you need support, reach out to a friend, loved one, or therapist who can help you through the process.
References
American Psychological Association. (2021, November 12.) Holiday stress resource center. What you can do to avoid or minimize holiday stress inducers. https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/holiday
Morgan, T. (2021, November.) Fighting Fair. When and how to engage—constructively—in family arguments during the holidays. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/news/apa/2018/fighting-fair
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2020, December 11.) Stress, depression and the holidays: Tips for coping. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-2004754
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