How Positive Psychology is Different than Toxic Positivity

by Shaina Frank

We’ve all been exposed to toxic positivity-based phrases — said to us when we’re having a bad day, plastered across social media pages, painted on decorative wall signs — phrases such as “Positive Vibes Only” or “All Good Vibes” or “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” 

While these sayings have well-meaning intentions, they can also leave us feeling invalidated, misunderstood, or as if something is inherently wrong with us for not feeling positive all the time. The field of positive psychology does, in fact, focus on mindset shifts and various ways of thinking, but more so gently encourages us to accept and compassionately create space for all vibes, even the ones that don’t always feel so positive. 

Why is the field of positive psychology important?

Essentially, positive psychology revolves around what brings humans authentic happiness and promotes our well-being (spoiler: it’s not money or fame). Founded by psychologist Martin Seligman, this branch of psychology supports the idea that by focusing on and building upon our inherent strengths and positive emotions, we can lead more meaningful and purposeful lives and become more resilient in the face of suffering. 

The integration of positive psychology in treating symptoms of depression, anxiety, and chronic pain has been supported through empirical research dating back to the 1950s and 1960s. Through learning to practice positive mindset shifts by using concepts such as gratitude, optimism, and mindfulness, we can all learn to lead more fulfilling lives while supporting mental health and preventing future relapses (Santos et al., 2013). 

How can I practice using positive psychology?

One of the key messages of positive psychology is focused on supporting individuals in moving from merely surviving in life to thriving in life — and beyond. Below are a few ways to increase your practice of positive psychology to support your mental health and quality of life. 

Gratitude 

According to research, practicing gratitude increases our emotional well-being and strengthens our social relationships. Gratitude also assists with stress management and decreases depressive symptoms over time (Santos et al., 2013). Being grateful for our experiences does not necessarily rid us of our painful experiences, but rather helps our brain refocus on the positive things or people in our lives. 

A great way to increase feelings of gratitude in life is by keeping a gratitude journal. This can be as simple as storing a document in the notes app on your phone or jotting them down in a notebook each morning. Try to come up with 5 different things that you’re grateful for each day!

Hope and optimism 

When we find ourselves in the midst of suffering and pain, it can feel difficult to hold on to any form of hope. However, for most people, hope is essential to motivate us to keep moving forward. Unfortunately, humans are wired with what we refer to as the “negative bias tendency,” which keeps us in a perpetual state of looking out for the bad things in life. Being aware of this bias can help us notice when it is occurring so we may shift ourselves into more balanced, or even optimistic, thinking through gentle accountability. 

If you find yourself having difficulty creating hope, try looking back at times you have succeeded in the past or when you have overcome adversity. Try taking a strengths inventory (such as the free VIA Characters Strength Test) and reflect on how these strengths can support you in the present or future. Notice when you find yourself stuck on a pessimism train and gently pull yourself back. 

Finding hope and meaning, even in the small things, can be a game-changer in recovering from any mental illness (Santos et al., 2013). 

Altruism 

Altruism is engaging in a selfless act of generosity or kindness that we perform for others. 

Positive psychology is focused on practices and mindsets that support social relationships. Research has shown that altruistic practice benefits both the person performing the act and the person receiving it (Psychology Today). By engaging in a selfless act of kindness for someone else, we can deepen our connection to our communities and social relationships, and feel a sense of closeness that increases the “feel-good” neurotransmitters in our brains. 

An altruistic move as simple as holding the door for a stranger or buying the person’s coffee in line behind builds our capacity for empathy. Positive emotions, such as empathy, support our well-being and quality of life, leading us to a more fulfilled experience. 

Check out a loving-kindness meditation or write letters to seniors at assisted living facilities to increase feelings of empathy for an added bonus. 

All Emotions Are Valid!

While the concepts of positive psychology focus on bringing awareness and intentionality to positive emotions and mindsets, remember that all vibes are welcome and all emotions are valid. We are humans, not robots, and cannot shut off negative feelings. Shifting into these practices can enable us to tolerate uncomfortable emotions compassionately and effectively, leading to a more balanced and kind mindset. 

Want help learning how to shift into the practices taught by positive psychology? Schedule an appointment for counseling services in Wilmington or via online therapy! 

 

References

• Santos, V., Paes, F., Pereira, V., Arias-Carrión, O., Silva, A. C., Carta, M. G., Nardi, A. E., & Machado, S. (2013). The role of positive emotion and contributions of positive psychology in depression treatment: systematic review. Clinical practice and epidemiology in mental health, 9, 221–237. https://doi.org/10.2174/1745017901309010221
• Psychology Today. Altruism. Retrieved April 27, 2021, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/altruism#why-altruism-is-important

 

Resources

• VIA Institute on Character, Survey of Character Strengths: https://www.viacharacter.org 
• The Happiness Lab, podcast by Dr. Laurie Santos 
• Authentic Happiness by Dr. Martin Selgiman