New relationships have an intensity that long-term relationships often lack. There’s a sexual charge in new relationships, a sense of longing for the other person, a desire to be closer to them, and to know everything you can know about them. Maybe you think about them all the time or can’t get enough time together. You may feel a passion and desire like nothing you’ve ever felt before. We often call this the "honeymoon stage" or limerance.
This early phase of new love is based largely on uncertainty, unfamiliarity, and a massive surge of chemicals being released in the brain, like dopamine. These chemicals make us feel high and they promote a desire to form a bond with your beloved. During this stage, intimacy, connection, desire, and sex may feel effortless and natural. However, it is physically impossible for the body to maintain that high level of hormone production long term and the presence of these chemicals change and diminish over time until they are no longer available. In later relationship stages, desire may require more effort. Passionate connections will require more creativity and communication than before.
"Talking about sex and intimacy can be intimidating, uncomfortable and difficult. Those feelings are very normal. "
Talking about sex and intimacy can be intimidating, uncomfortable and difficult. Those feelings are very normal. The good news is, couples who are willing to communicate openly about desire and sex have a much greater likelihood of staying together and being happy and connected. But talking about desires and fantasies comes with risk. What if my partner is repulsed? What if they think I’m weird? What does this fantasy say about me?
Sex plays a huge role in our overall health and happiness. It is connected to physical and emotional well-being, self-esteem and relationship satisfaction. Developing a healthy attitude about sex and improving your sexual communication can enhance your overall quality of life. If you find you could use some help tackling delicate conversations about sex and intimacy it’s a good idea to find a professional and qualified sex therapist, usually with specialized education, near you. In sessions, you'll learn techniques to communicate your sexual needs to your partner. We remove biases and lifestyle challenges that keep individuals and couples from getting the sex they want and deserve.