Tips for Supporting Your Partner through the Therapy Process
by Hillary Stevens
If your significant other recently began seeing a therapist, a lot of questions and unknowns may accompany this new journey. Although starting therapy is a positive step in an individual’s life, it can also bring about changes in a couple’s interactions, communication, and experiences together. This often leads to the partner second-guessing their own decisions and behaviors, as well as wondering what they can do to be as supportive as possible throughout the therapy process.
We are all different, and there are various ways to support your significant other and yourself along the way. Although not an extensive list, below are five tips for success in the role of supporting your partner throughout their therapy experience.
Educate yourself on the therapy process.
If you’ve never engaged in therapy yourself, it may seem like a foreign idea. It can help to understand what occurs in therapy and answer some of the questions you may have about what this process looks like. You can do this in many ways, but it never hurts to engage in your own therapy to get a better idea of what it is like. If you’d like to schedule an appointment for counseling services or have questions, contact us.
Know that therapy takes time.
The therapy process is one that takes a lot of courage and determination. Many people have a lot to work through in their current circumstances before they are able to dig in deeper to work through previously lived experiences. Another thing to remember is that we continue living our daily life while going through therapy; therefore, new things may come up and need to be processed as well. Remember that progress is progress, and everyone has their own timeframe for therapy based on their individual needs.
It’s okay to ask how it’s going.
Being a partner means being interested in what is going on in your significant other’s life. It’s normal to be interested in the therapy process, and asking how therapy is going can show your partner that you care about the time and effort they are putting into their own well-being. Just remember, it’s your partner’s right to have reservations about sharing their therapy process, and they may not be ready to talk about what they are working through. Be patient and respectful.
It is not your responsibility to be therapist #2.
Your partner may share something that perplexes you and leaves you not knowing what to say or how to respond. That’s okay! Don’t feel guilty if you don’t have the perfect response; you are not a trained psychotherapist and it’s not your job. Your partner is gaining skills and techniques during their therapy process that will allow them to self-soothe and manage emotions that may arise from sharing their experiences with you. You are simply there as a support. Don’t let this put too much pressure on you. Being a supportive partner is all your significant other needs.
Get your own therapy.
You may find that the changes your partner begins to implement based on their therapeutic experience cause some need for adjustments in your relationship. Or, maybe something your partner shares with you brings up some of your own stuff that may need to be worked through. This is normal and understandable. Consider reaching out and finding your own therapist to gain some coping skills to manage these new lifestyle changes. And if you are concerned that admitting you’re struggling with these changes will upset your partner or take the “spotlight” off of their journey, just communicate. Discuss this with your partner and work through it together. Although therapy is a personal journey, the people in our lives play a big role in making the process successful for years to come.
This may all seem like a big undertaking, and in some ways, it can be. But if your partner is trusting you to go through this journey with them, your efforts to support them will only make your relationship stronger in the end. Don’t let this pressure get you down. There are plenty of resources out there for individuals and couples alike. Although this list contains only a few tips for supporting your significant other, there are many more options for self-care and supporting yourself, as well as couples-based help. Don’t be afraid to do your own research and reach out to your own support system if necessary.
Clarity Counseling Center – Counseling Services Wilmington
Would you like to schedule counseling services for yourself as you support your partner? Meet our therapists or contact us today to get started.
References
- Thorpe, J.R. (2016, June 9). 8 ways to support a partner in therapy. Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/articles/162053-8-ways-to-support-your-partner-in-therapy
- Hope, C. (2019, January 18). A guide to supporting a partner in therapy. Christina Hope. https://christinacare.medium.com/a-guide-to-supporting-a-partner-in-therapy-f0d64575558
